Why are you vegans always so preachy?
one time i was at my friend’s house while her sister was getting arrested and 3 cops walk into the house one checks all the rooms and when he looks in the first bathroom there i am sitting on the toilet seat in south park boxers shaving my legs and we just lock eyes and i just kinda freeze and after like 4 seconds of absolute silence i’m like “…what seems to be the problem officer” and he shut the door on me
What do you mean “servings per container”?
If it’s all in one container, it’s one serving.
That I will eat.
SOMEONE MADE THE INCEST COFFEE ADVERT EVEN MORE AWKWARD THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE
Every time I think of the black market, I actually imagine a market, with little stalls selling illegal things like nuclear weapons and organs.
I THOUGHT I WAS ALONE
WAIT SO THAT’S NOT WHAT IT IS
"QUICK THE COPS ARE COMING!" *everyone frantically tries to collapse their trestle tables*
I can vouch that all morticians have the same sense of humor.
The many identities of Stanley Tucci.
#if morgan freeman is god #then stanley tucci is jesus
Never have I seen a more accurate tag.
He’s creepy as shit in The Lovely Bones
I just found this gem on facebook and it is glorious
oh my god you’re absolutely right i am laughinf holy
look what my mom got me omg
(hears someone call my name) was that quiet enough to pretend i didnt hear them
YO LISTEN UP IF A GIRL FEELS PRETTY NO MATTER WHAT SHES WEARING YOU SHUT THE FUCK UP OKAY THEY DESERVE THAT MOMENT OKAY LEAVE THEM BE LET THEM FEEL PRETTY DONT MAKE ANY COMMENTS REGARDING WEIGHT OR HOW CLOTHED OR UNCLOTHED THEY LOOK OKAY JUST SHHHH
I HAVE NEVER LAUGHED HARDER
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